do you ever had that feeling na whatever you do, you're just not happy? i dunno, been feeling down for the past couple of weeks already but i just can't grasp whatever is really bugging me. went clubbing last thursday with new friends, though i enjoyed the whole evening, but somehow, back at home, in my comfort zone, ironically, i felt empty. distant even.
add to the fact that our branch is currently under audit and whatever we do is magnified. as if we are a whole school of fish in an aquarium, under the scrutinizing gaze of the auditors just waiting for that slightest mistake to be slapped in our faces, and all the year's worth of hardwork will be tinted forever.
honestly, i don't know anymore if this is what i wanted to do my whole life. yes, the salary pays the bill, but if you ask me now if i'm contented? a resounding no is my answer.
i've been wanting to write in my blog for days, but it's as if incoherency is blocking my mentality. as much as i would like to deny it, i am slowly becoming a lonely person who wants to get out of this seemingly endless blackhole .
i am a positive girl and as much as possible i'd still like to believe that the glass is always half full. i am still keeping the faith, but sadness is slowly getting the best of me. i'm sorry if this post shouts negativity. i just wish that the bad vibes go away.
or maybe, just maybe, all i need is a sincere hug and someone to reassure me that all of these will soon go away =(
